In the most basic of descriptions I am a female human. I've been on this earth for thirty years and counting. Turning thirty happened pretty recently and it was a harsh reality to face. I feel obligated to "grow up" a bit, whatever that means. This poses a problem because I like running around like I just got to college.
I come from one of those meshugeneh, dysfunctional families that you read about in David Sedaris or Augusten Burroughs but I haven't the talent or the drive to spin my memoirs into a book. We are Southern though, so I guess we're more Tennessee Williams. My dad grew up with big money. He's the kind of guy that would light a cigarette with a twenty dollar bill and not see the significance of that. Money and his plasma television are all that matters to him. My mother is possibly one of the most intelligent people alive and one of the hardest working. She is a self-hating Jew. This has caused tension between us because I chose to practice Judaism and she hates me reminding her where she came from.
I have the horrible habit of getting involved with severely emotionally disturbed people. I naively think that I can help them but I never can. They just latch onto me and become obsessed, weighing me down in the process. Being emotionally damaged, I feel more of a kinship to other disturbed people. Friends urge me to push these people out of my life, which I should probably do. It's a horrible habit.
I haven't had to work most of my life because of my family's money. I thought not doing anything is what I wanted but it is overrated. Nothing day after day starts to make you stir crazy. I've been trying to get into nursing school four semesters and have had no luck so far. Applying to the nursing schools I am applying to is a lottery. People are put into a pool and picked randomly by a computer into the seventy spots. How messed up is that?
Right now, I am not in any classes. My days consist of game show network. I really enjoy the show Baggage and dislike Family Feud. That doesn't stop me from watching it sometimes. Pathetic, I know. I have been challenged to write in my blog everyday until I get back into classes next semester. I don't know if I can write entries everyday but I will try to be more frequent.
I guess I just need to learn that blog entries don't have to be interesting. They can be inane dribble and often are. "Today, I ate cereal but the milk was bad." Seriously? Who cares. In this internet age, we can all be stars with our own blogs. We can feel important casting out thoughts into the void and hope that they will be read.