Hmph...

I am not a fan of gossip. It is not constructive to talk about and judge people without giving them a chance to defend themselves. But, then again, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. I know I have a strong personality that attracts as well as puts off people. Because of this, I have had to deal with insults and disdain. That's all well and good. What is messed up, though, is when people post elaborate entries in their blog candidly discussing your life without telling you.

I am not talking about a post that is about me that does not mention my name, giving me some sense of anonymity. This dude did all but give my address and phone number. He talks about certain things being "fucked up." Hello? Take a look at what you are writing! You think because most of the things you say about me are kind of nice that it's okay? How would you feel if I blathered on about every aspect of you and your life for the world to see? Maybe you wouldn't care. Maybe I wouldn't care if you gave me some sort of heads up that you were going to post my dirty laundry on the world wide web. I know we aren't really talking anymore but come on! At least give me an alias.

You talk about being in love with me and me being great at all kinds of things. Fine, thank you. Glad you're a fan. I still don't like you using my name. You say my boyfriend is a douche bag. That's your prerogative but don't use his name. You say I am a submissive cow who wants an asshole patriarchal authoritarian to boss me around. I am sorry but not so surprised to hear that. Because I did not end up with you, that must be true.

How about this: stop feeling sorry for yourself! You always talk about how tragic your life is. You talk about never getting a chance with love. Neither is true. You grew up middle class and never wanted for the basic necessities. You were fed, clothed and had shelter. You always have had those things. You had the luxury of being very smart, so you got a great education. You have had interesting friends and interesting adventures. You have a wonderful, loyal pet who brightens up your life. Girls have loved you. You berate that love because it either wasn't the right kind of love or you did not love them back. That sucks. It really does. Some people never have anyone to love them and you have been loved by a few girls.

Do I think you've had the shit end of the stick? Yes. Do I think you have done absolutely nothing to deserve it? Not so much. You are kind and that kindness is often abused. You are the harbinger of your own misery. You fall for unavailable girls. You devote your life to the concept of love and have built it up so much that nothing can measure up.

I know that I am also a negative person. The "bright side of life" ain't my thing. There is a difference between negativity and melodrama. We've had this conversation before. I've said all of this to you. Your melodramatic outlook is toxic. It ruins relationships and blinds you from the things you have. You are a brilliant guy and this melodrama makes you seem like an angsty teenager who can't see past his self-centered perception. I'll shut up now. It won't make a difference at all.

I love you and I always will. I am just very irked.