The bird flew into the house...

So it is New Year's day now. I had no fun, no fireworks and got into no mischief. At eight something, I was taken by stomach pains and fatigue. I went to sleep while my friends went to a party. The odd thing about it all is that I don't sleep, like, ever. What a year...

I am a logical person, almost painfully so, but I can't shake superstitious thoughts. My great grandmother was somewhat superstitious. I remember one day a bird flew into her house without her knowledge. My dad and I had to get the bird outside before Nannie found out. I didn't understand why at the time. The fact that my very logical great grandmother was so superstitious that she would go into a frenzy at seeing a bird in the house. A couple of days later, she died per the superstition.

Well, she was old and very sick. True. It was bound to happen. But the superstition stuck with me. It was like an Ingmar Bergman flick or something.

They say what you are doing at the strike New Year's is indicative of your following year. In fact, there are many New Year's superstitions:

Kissing at midnight- n/a since I was asleep and woke up completely alone.

Stocking up the cupboards with plenty of food- I have some but am not ready for the apocalypse or anything.

Paying bills- So the house will not be in debt... Taken care of. I am one for three.

The first person to enter your home after the stroke of midnight by knocking will influence the year you are to have- Get this, he should be tall, handsome and be bearing a gift. I wish. I could use the company and a present.

Noting goes in or out- Not garbage and not so much as dusting... I'll ignore this one.

Eat black-eyed peas- Hell to the no.

Avoid breaking things on New Year's Day- Considering my clumsiness, doubtful...

There are actually a few more but I am sick of typing them. What is wrong with me? Am I so fatalistic that I put stock into negative superstitions? That must be it... The good superstitions never affect me.

All I wanted was to get wakened before midnight. I hate the idea of me missing New Year's because I am feeling sick. That didn't happen, though. I slept straight through all the hullabaloo. What does this mean for me? That I will end the year just like I began it, alone? A scary thought... Maybe the tall, dark haired man will knock on my door and ask to come in. Maybe I will fuck up because he is really a vampire and I am his New Year's snack. Because I am feeling sorry for myself, I am giving more credence to superstitions than I should.

It is easy to believe that things are cosmically shitty when they are just plain shitty.